


Realization

by StarButterfly_is_a_hufflepuff



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-05
Updated: 2018-04-05
Packaged: 2019-04-18 19:08:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14219802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarButterfly_is_a_hufflepuff/pseuds/StarButterfly_is_a_hufflepuff
Summary: When Amethyst is inconsolable, Pearl must reflect and confront her own feelings.





	Realization

It was one of those beautiful Beach City nights, where the scattered clouds were a million colors and the stars were bright. Amethyst sat on the water's edge, letting the low waves lap at her toes. Pearl and Garnet could see her from the porch of the house. 

"She's been like this for days. I don't understand what I did." Pearl huffed.

Garnet shrugged.

"I mean, nothing I said was really out of the ordinary. I didn't realize that she'd get so sullen about it."

Garnet made a grunting noise of assent. Pearl threw an exasperated look over her shoulder.

"You're thinking that I'm missing something, right?" She pushed herself away from the banister and slowly paced around. "Theres something she's not telling me, that I'm just supposed to know."

Garnet sighed. "Amethyst is sensitive. She's not going to expose her emotions easily."

"Well, then, how am I supposed to know what to say? I have no idea how she's feeling!" Pearl crossed her arms in frustration.

"You need to give her time."

"I have given her time. Lots of time."

"Time, during which, you help her build trust."

Pearl stopped pacing. She took a deep breath. She was definitely not in the wrong here. Amethyst was being childish, that's all this was. But... on the other hand...

"What do you mean by helping her build trust?" Pearl asked slowly.

"You've given her space, but that space has been isolating. She's no more likely to open up to you now, because she's been ruminating on her last encounter with you."

Pearl thought this over for a while.

"You mean I should try to talk to her?"

"I mean you should go and sit by her. You can be silent, if you'd like. She needs to feel like she can trust you again."

Pearl huffed. It wasn't like she'd given Amethyst any reason not to trust her. It felt to Pearl like the same old argument, which they'd had over and over again, about Rose. Wasn't Pearl allowed to talk about her feelings, too?

"I guess I'll go sit with her, by the water." Pearl said, after a few moments.

"Good idea," Garnet responded.

Pearl started down the stairs. She made her way a few paces from the house, and looked behind her to see if Garnet was still watching. Garnet gave her a thumbs-up. Pearl gave Garnet a half-smile and continued to the water.

\- - - - - - - - - - - -

She couldn't tell if Amethyst had heard her approach. If she had, she didn't respond at all. Pearl hesitated, rubbing her hands together nervously.

"The stars are pretty bright tonight!" Pearl said, a little bit too enthusiastically. She cringed at herself and sat down two feet away from Amethyst.

"Yeah," Amethyst said pointedly. She dragged her finger around in the sand.

Pearl looked around herself. Garnet said she could sit there silently, but that was easy for her to say! Pearl had to think of something to break the tension.

"I think that red dot is Mars," she commented. Amethyst gave no response.

"Jupiter is supposed to be visible tonight too." There was a long pause. "Homeworld would be in that direction-"

"I don't care about Homeworld!" Amethyst snapped.

Pearl bristled. "Sorry, I'll go back to the house."

"No- it's fine." Amethyst looked in Pearl's direction for the first time that evening, then quickly looked away. "You were just trying to make conversation."

There was a long pause. Amethyst slouched backward and looked in the direction Pearl had indicated Homeworld. Pearl stared at Amethyst's feet, trying to think of something else to say. She couldn't think of anything, so she eventually leaned back and gazed at the sky.

"I do care about Homeworld, I know it's an important place to you." Amethyst said a while later.

"Not really, I just wonder about it a lot. I spent a long time there before coming to Earth."

"Before you came here with Rose."

They'd reached the topic of conversation from before. Pearl didn't want to upset Amethyst again, so she tried to push the subject away.

"Before I lived here with Rose, Garnet, and you, and long before Steven."

Amethyst turned toward Pearl and half-smiled.

"I know I'm a late addition, but Steven's only been around for what must feel like a couple of minutes compared to you and Garnet's lives."

Pearl laughed softly. "It may have been a short time so far, but they've certainly been the most packed with adventure."

"Even including the Gem War? And everything from Homeworld?"

"That was full of action, but it was very monotonous." Pearl paused for a moment. "So much more happens here. All of the books Steven and Connie love, all of their games, everything they come up with. It's amazing."

"When you put it that way, I can see why Rose fell in love with Greg."

Pearl's expression hardened. It seemed like Amethyst was trying to talk about what they fought about. In any case, that was an unnecessarily blunt comment.

"I'm just a boring, ten-thousand year old rock, I guess. No use for me here." She started to get up.

"No- I'm sorry, I- I didn't mean it like that."

"Then what did you mean?"

It took Amethyst a moment to respond. "I don't know. I didn't mean anything by it, I guess." She crossed her arms and returned to her sand-tracing position.

Pearl sighed. "I don't know if you're ready to talk about what we fought about, but..." Pearl searched for the right words. "I want you to feel like you can trust me again. I'm sorry... about what I said, even though I'm not sure what triggered your response. I can see I hurt you, and I want to try to make it better."

Amethyst turned slowly around, and to Pearl's surprise, she had tears in her eyes.

"Amethyst... "

"You always talk about Rose like you were the only one who mattered to her, and like she's the only thing that matters to you! Thats what makes me so upset," She stammered, and now she was holding back sobs. "Rose was like a mother to me, and she's gone, and she always knew what to say to make me feel better, and now I don't have her either!"

Pearl blinked at Amethyst, and reached out to tell her that she was sorry, and she hadn't thought of it like that, but before she got the chance, Amethyst broke out crying again.

"And the way you talk about her- like she's the only person that matters to you- didn't she fight for all of us? Didn't you fight for Ruby and Sapphire to be allowed to be together, because they matter to you? Didn't others matter to you? Or was it just her all along, and now Steven in her place?"

"Of course I cared about everyone in the fight for Earth, that's a silly question-"

"I wasn't in the fight for Earth, what about me?" Amethyst's breaths were coming in short between sobs.

"Amethyst, I... I care about you, a lot." She took Amethyst's hands into her own. "I'm sorry I made you feel like I didn't."

Amethyst's tears sprang back into her eyes, and she threw her arms around Pearl.

Pearl adjusted herself to support Amethyst's weight, and tucked her head onto her shoulder. "Amethyst-"

"I love you, Pearl."

Pearl's eyes widened. Pearl loved Amethyst too, but she'd never thought of her as anything but part of the family. What did she mean? They'd just been talking about Rose, and Pearl certainly had had feelings for Rose that were deeper than that. "I- I love you too, Amethyst." She gently pushed her away by the shoulders, so she could look her in the eyes. Amethyst wiped her eyes with the inside of her wrist.

Pearl's face flushed. Now that the thought was put in her head, she couldn't get rid of it very quickly. Amethyst sniffed and blinked more tears away.

"Sorry I'm such a mess right now," she muttered.

"No, no, don't be sorry about that, I'm happy you're being honest with me. Well- not happy, because you're not happy, but I'm glad that you can talk to me."

Amethyst smirked, still wiping her eyes. "Thanks, P. I just- I know I'll never measure up to Rose."

Pearl's breath caught in her throat. She knew for sure now why Amethyst had been upset. She also suddenly knew that a thousand years worth of bickering between them, making each other laugh, and learning to live with each other- may have fostered feelings that she hadn't considered before.

A thousand years worth of moments that Pearl had ignored- Amethyst pulling pranks on Pearl to get her attention, Amethyst asking Pearl all about gem history and gem lore, Amethyst dragging Pearl into fun and silly activities like going on the beach, or making art, or music... and she realized there had been a turning point, where Amethyst's humor had turned into angst. Her jokes had turned into bullying. Amethyst had changed, and that's when Rose had gone...

Tears welled up in Pearl's eyes now.

"Amethyst, I'm so sorry..."

"Whoa, I didn't mean to make you upset, I just meant that-"

"I know what you meant, now, I know what I've been ignoring all these years..."

Amethyst blinked at her, blankly, unsure of what this meant.

"You're not Rose, true, but thats okay. You're Amethyst," Pearl said, looking directly into Amethyst's eyes, which had turned suddenly to stars. "And Amethyst, I love you."

She gently held Amethyst's face in her hands and leaned in, kissing her softly.

\- - - - - - - - - - - -

A short while later, they headed up to the house together, holding hands, and their gems both dimly, but visibly, glowing.

Garnet was still on the porch. Pearl stiffened her walk, realizing that Garnet had probably seen the entire exchange. Pearl gave her a meaningful look, trying to convey all of what had just happened. Garnet gave her a thumbs up in response.


End file.
